The hard work behind making someone feel at home
Plus, does being a regular at a hotel beat joining a members' club?
🛎️ This week on connection: The hard work behind making someone feel at home. Don’t spend your money on clubs, become a regular at a hotel. The link between wellness and sustainability, quietcations and other niche escapes, and more...
Madrid: Thank you to everyone who joined People, Places, Plates alongside BrytSpace and Max Rosenberg. I was pleasantly surprised to see most signed up solo, and it was a joy to witness all the connections that emerged when getting a diverse crowd sitting around a table eating good food. When are we seeing each other next?
Dare to connect,
Andy
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If you’ve been here a while, you know I’m the biggest fan of Will Guidara and his philosophy of Unreasonable Hospitality. (Check out this year’s Welcome Conference. Anyone care to invite me?)
But as always, ideas hit harder when you experience them.
This past weekend, I found myself on the receiving end of exactly the kind of magic my friend Will (if only!) talks about.
My husband and I were walking home from lunch when we passed the Santo Mauro hotel in Madrid. Through the wide-open entrance doors, I caught a glimpse of their garden and was instantly taken by its beauty.
“Let’s go check it out,” I said.
We walked in - nervous, as you are when you’re not a guest (just me?) - and were met with warmth by every staff member we passed. We wandered through the lobby, restaurant, bar, and library, finally reaching a back door that looked out onto the terrace. “This is too beautiful,” I whispered.
Worried we were overstaying our welcome, we turned to leave (mind you - it had been a minute). As we passed the doorman, we thanked him, admitting we weren’t staying at the hotel but had been too curious to resist a peek.
“I’m so glad to hear it,” he replied. “Did you happen to visit our garden?”
“We didn’t want to intrude,” I confessed. “But I did see it from afar. It’s stunning.”
To our surprise, he insisted we couldn’t leave without seeing it properly. He personally walked us to the garden, pointing out other spaces along the way and sharing some of the hotel’s history: “49 rooms… renovated palace… former Duke…”
The whole exchange took maybe five minutes, but it left a lasting impression. So much so that I emailed the hotel to thank Javier by name (gentle reminder: when someone goes out of their way to make you feel at home - thank them and share the praise with their bosses. It’s harder work than it seems!).
And maybe ask yourself: what can you do today to go out of your way for someone else? It might only take five minutes of your time, and yet become the highlight of their day. Javier, you may never see this post, but thank you!
🌍 CURATING CONNECTION
Il Pellicano isn’t just a hotel - it’s an institution. Beloved for its timeless beauty, yes, but also for the sense of belonging it gives its guests. As one visitor put it: “Don’t join a club for $15,000 a year. Spend your money going to the Pellicano.” To mark its 60th anniversary, the iconic spot is throwing a 60s-themed celebration and launching a capsule collection with Highsnobiety - blending heritage with reinvention, extending the Pellicano magic beyond its four walls, and inviting us to reconsider the times when people weren’t afraid to strike up a conversation with strangers (otherwise, Sciò would’ve never danced with Chaplin’s daughter - more on that in the linked article.)
My biggest feud with sustainability: we branded it wrong. But as interest in longevity and well-being grows, the link is clearer than ever: there is no wellness without sustainability. Enter: nature retreats, digital detoxes, cold plunges, and other experiences that quietly remind us how intertwined we are with the planet - and how our habits shape it in return. I love we’re now, indirectly at least, more interested in connecting with the world around us - making us realize, firsthand and once and for all, just how precarious our situation is.
If you’ve ever wondered about the messiness of modern loneliness and what it really means to connect, Monika Jiang breaks it down beautifully in her TED Talk: Finding connection in a disconnected world.
Wellness tourism isn’t limited to yoga in secluded places - we’re now seeing quietcations, sleep tourism, emotional wellness retreats, hanging out escapes, and other nich-er offerings that speak to people’s needs for spaces and company that may get us closer to a return to our shared human nature.
Young American men are lonelier than ever - and lonelier than their female counterparts. Why this matters: on an individual level, loneliness is linked to higher rates of depression, anxiety, obesity, diabetes, and overall higher early mortality. On a societal level, disconnected communities are more vulnerable to extremism, apathy, and collapse (meaning, this should matter to us all). What we can do: Check in on the men in your life. But don’t just ask how they’re doing - ask them out. Start something. Make it easy to say yes. Even pretending to need help can open a door. And for those in hospitality or the experience economy: how often are your events truly welcoming to men? Better yet - how many are actually designed for them? Probably fewer than you think.
💡 YOU’RE INVITED
Inspired by Monika Jiang’s TED Talk: What, really, does self-care mean for you? Maybe it is skin care routines, pilates, and iced lattes. But maybe it’s not.
Maybe it’s that instrument gathering dust. That hobby you keep postponing. That birdwatching walk you secretly love - but feel shy to share.
Let’s explore self-care, with the emphasis on care. And remember: self doesn’t have to mean solo. What if your self-care practice became a shared one?
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE
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“The food, the service, and the design are simply ingredients in the recipe for human connection”
Will Guidara